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Why So Mysterious?

I get that you’re an infinite being. That has to have its own set of incomprehensible qualities.

I know you’re unintentionally cryptic, simply because you are so vast that any attempt to understand you must endure its due share of twists and turns. I even understand that you want to make yourself known. And so you bow down, you step into our realities, you make yourself relatable. And it’s beautiful.

But it had to be said, as our relationship gets deeper, you only get more mysterious. The mysteries of your face that are revealed in the light, only offer greater mysteries that even light can’t explain. Your ways are beyond all understanding. But then, we have the mind of the Messiah. The transcendent yet immanent one. That’s what they say.

But tell me this, God… how can I know you more?

You say by loving people. By becoming one with you in suffering, in sacrifice. And thereby being changed into your likeness.

I might choose love, sometimes even pain. But I still can’t understand why. Why is love the way it is? Why is pain the way it is? Why does existence mean this?

You are infinite, indeed. For even creation to exist, you had to create time and space, and then for creation to be sustained, you had to ensure that the conditions were perfect, so that altogether, it might work like a well-oiled machine. Except, it’s so much more than a machine. It is a living reflection of your nature.

We see you all around in creation, in the qualities so clearly exhibited in living beings. And yet, you’re so mysterious. I find no satisfactory way to express your grandiosity and your tender childlike heart. I can’t make head or tails of it. Where do I even begin and end when it comes to you, Alpha and Omega that you are.

Beyond all the deciphering I attempt, there is a quiet whisper. Like the craving of a newborn to suckle, to drink it all in because of a sudden thirst. A strange sensation of lack, that you need something, or you just won’t be alright. A desperation.

When can I be with my God?

When will all the questions and the need to have an answer cease? When can I have confidence that no question is worth the beauty of His Presence. That being with Him is Answer enough.

When can I come, and be with you? Enjoy the silence of your face, and the earthquake of your laughter!

When can I traverse past the mystery, and reach the heart of your existence, that you are who you are, and that I am only me because of You.

There’s no reasoning you out, there’s only beholding, because ‘You Are’.

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